Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
