That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
