he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
