is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
