NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
