i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
