i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
