You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
