it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
