I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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