WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize