dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
