It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
tell me about the eggs
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
