I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
