Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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