question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
