TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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