out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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