what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
