oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
