i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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