Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
