was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
