I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
