My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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