Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
