with your own penis?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
