So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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