You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Michael Bay diarrhea
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize