I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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