I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize