You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
