She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
