No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I supernannyed him into submission
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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