Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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