This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
