i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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