Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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