smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
