i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
