Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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