Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
