I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
