just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
