the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Boobs are out for the taking
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
