i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
