i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
