Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
