Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
