ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sorry my hands just texted you
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
