I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
NoShamevember. You game?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
