Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
