So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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