i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
