Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize