Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
this beer tastes like vomit already
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
