I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
